$floatcFile = "/www/wwwroot/xin_floatAdc.txt"; 德云小师爷(红色水牛)_第249章 爽死了(2 / 2)_德云小师爷最新章节免费阅读无弹窗_新笔趣阁

第249章 爽死了(2 / 2)

德云小师爷 红色水牛 1163 字 2022-04-20

“还有谁?”李青又疑惑了。

胡炎想都不想,直接吐出三个字:“你爷爷。”

李青更纳闷了:“不是,我连十万块真钱都烧给他了,他怨我什么?”

胡炎正经道:“你爷爷当天晚上就给你托了梦,在梦里把你一通好骂,‘孙子啊,你害人啊。阴间的警察抓我了,说我使用假币。’”

“噗~~噗通~~哈哈哈~~~”

台下的观众真有笑得掉下了椅子,全场顿时乱成一团。

等了很久,动静终于稍微消停。

胡炎再道:“你媳妇这一生气,就气了一年,到第二年清明节都还住在娘家。”

“嚯,她这气性可够大的。”

胡炎脸现苦色:“有了媳妇还睡冷炕头,这哪成啊?瞅着清明节,你准备上她家去。”

“去接她回来?”李青凑过头来问道。

胡炎则摇头道:“不是,你捅下这么大篓子,哪那么容易原谅你,不得先表示表示,哄哄她,把人哄好了,自然就跟你回家了。”

“这话没错。”

“眼巴前赶上清明节,你就琢磨着去帮她家扫墓吧,以姑爷的身份到她们家祖宗先人坟头上哭一回,哭惨一点,让她们一家子看到你的诚心实意,兴许就原谅你了。”

“嘿,这主意还真不错。”李青眼睛一亮。

“去也不能空手去,得买东西,去扫墓就买扫墓的东西。定了主意,你就上街买贡品去了,纸钱、冥币什么的,你是不敢再买了。”

“我是被吓怕了。”李青认真的点头。

观众们又乐。

胡炎皱眉道:“可是年年扫墓都这些东西,不买这个那能买什么呢?”

“这可得想清楚。”

胡炎突然笑了:“转了半天,你终于看中了一样东西。”

“什么东西?”

“苹果手机。”

“那玩意可贵了,好几大千一台呢。”李青皱眉了。

胡火没好气的扫了他一眼:“不是,你怎么又想着烧真手机下去?烧下去,不又成了假货么?”

“噢,您说的是那纸糊的假手机啊?”李青后知后觉道。

胡炎懒得再理他:“别的不敢买,那就买这个吧,又时髦又不会弄错。为了表示诚意,你一口气买了五十台,包圆了。”

“用得了这么多吗?”

“买祭品没这么个买法的,人家老板一瞧直接把你当傻愣子了。赶紧叫住你,‘老板,买了手机,还有这些充电器、数据线、耳塞之类的也得配齐。不然,你家先人得回来问你要,回来要是小事,叫你送过去就麻烦了。’”

“嚯,他还敢这么挤兑我?”李青怒道。

胡炎摆手道:“他以为你傻嘛,你心里本来就有气,上街还能受冤枉气,这可忍不了。”

“没错。”

胡炎抓起桌上的折扇:“‘老板,东西我配齐,你的名片我也一块儿烧下去,万一有质量问题,我家祖宗可就直接找你了!’那老板当时就被你吓了。”

“嘿,我还真聪明。”李青脸上也笑了。

全场观众则听得心里直发冷,嘴里却忍不住在乐。

只有柳清雨半点不冷,全是乐。

胡炎一挑话头,她脑海里就不断闪过那天的情景。

最终也不知道是被胡炎那天的举动给逗乐的,还是被眼前的表演给逗乐的?

胡炎继续道:“你拎着东西就奔你媳妇她们家去,刚一进村,村口刚好有一座坟,这会儿正有人在那哭呢,‘爽死了,啊,爽死了,爽死啦。’”

这家伙满脸表情悲恸,嘴里吐出的词儿却相当雷人,顿时把全场人都震惊了。

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